Elysian dream

Arms wide open towards peril, you go as you have always done

Fuck him and his kind, they don’t know of the worlds you come from:

the muddy depths, the fisheye cold and towards the chasing of some Elysian idea

His kind know only of things seen, not felt;

the predictability of the curves and bends of the track, the electric click and the red signal 

They jolt out of daydreams filled with motion and speed, of falling or escaping 

They are children, they are not invited

Because you go alone, passing through, lessening like ice on salt

And you might not become happy, but at least you felt

Like the moon

You sleep and I watch the moon travel across the sky outside an unfamiliar window. I keep one vigilant eye on it but I can’t track its invisible course and yet when I look again, somehow it has moved. This is also the way you move through my mind. Always some newfangled place with unforeseen depth, slow like our collective death and just as palpable, just as beautiful.

You are gone, the moon stays and it looks the same from one fortnight to the next. Its ugly pale surface turning slowly away from me to hide in the everlasting dark. And as it twists to gaze upon other octuplets of limbs strewn across a bed in another room somewhere, I lose the places that were touched and felt, the kisses exchanged like vaporous currency.

You are gone, the moon stays and I stop watching.

Untitled

Listening to the voiceless vowels of your heart; the swoosh and rush and squeeze

How different it sounds to all the other hearts my ear has searched for in hollowed chests that rise and sink like delicate birds dipping into still water for fish; I imagine the flutter of their wings much like the sounds of your heart

It stuns me, this heart of yours that can love me by crowding its chambers and pushing them empty again

Pushing empty to reach this island

Sucking in to break this gleaming surface

It stuns me to think that it speaks to me like this, as if I could understand the whisperings of its tender bruised walls

Beat, beat, beat and paddle the shallow waters that separate us

Burn your bridges and find your kin

In a chest much like yours

Tectonic Plates

There is a hot crumbling beneath the cold surface

Pushed apart, inching further away as you slumber

Come and conquer, let your fury be known

And then, rest your sweet head on my arid slopes

And dream of places greener and free from history

Abandon these too-familiar shores that froth and quake in and out of your vision

Like a desperate mirage

I am landlocked by your love,

My offerings sparse;

The shivering coils of my heart,

The contracting hollows of my veins,

The skin that falls and rises under your hand,

The tongue that searches for your taste and

The lips that never tell you how well you are missed here

So I break, unwillingly

So that we might collide again 

Calvary

Praying for calvary

To shake me clean of the past, to drain me pure of the present

To leave me in a permanent state of rapture, brittle like the embers of your love

Pressing my skin against the rough surface of the place where blood was spilt

The blood that stained us all, trying to get closer

Pooling at the bottom of a chalice, heralded by the dizzying smell of sugar

Making me heavy, like the billowing hem of your robe

The swish and lock of the door, and the stiff-mouthed recital heard from within

I never trusted, until now, that a place could save me

That an ashen, sullen sight might make me realise

My palms are open, my brow burning

I am ready

This is my final clutching of you, my searching blind in the darkness of you

Before it all bursts through and breaks me, washes over me and disintegrates me

This is my submission, my white flag

The weight at the end of the rope

Give me calvary