At dinner. We are talking and everything's fine, but then I say something about him
being cheap, just a throwaway comment meant as a joke, but he gets angry. That's the thing. When there's something bubbling underneath the surface, something neither one of us wants to discuss, a comment like that is taken seriously and the night is ruined. There is no more food on our plates, in fact the plates are gone.
We are waiting for dessert. We sit in silence while others dine and talk and are
supposedly having a great time. We sulk, he bites his fingers – a sight I have
become slowly disgusted by. It is just like everyone says: the little habits
your loved one has, the things you find so endearing at first, become annoying after
time. His nail biting. There are other things but I can’t remember them right
now, I am too conscious of the oppressing silence. I imagine the
waiters watching us, whispering.
‘Well, this is awkward.’ I say.
‘Yup.’ He says and continues to bite down on his nails. They
are already short and the ends of his fingers look like swollen cupcakes
bursting over the edges.
‘Just hold my hand so we don’t look like we’re on a disastrous first date.’
He looks dubious for a moment but I know he will give in, in
situations like these he always does.
He slams his hand over mine on the table. The ends of his
fingers are wet. Then we stare out the window and presumably look like two
people very much in love who don’t need to say anything to each other, sharing
a comfortable silence.
Ei kommentteja:
Lähetä kommentti